Noise to Signal

One of my very early posts was on a web comic I've been reading regularly ever since, Noise to Signal. I was actually kind of thrilled to get an excited note from Mr. Cottingham asking me to remove his comic from my blog, or he would be forced to institute legal procedings forthwith... oh, no that was someone else. He seemed kind of pleased himself to be getting some linky love (and his material is posted under a Creative Commons license). At any rate, he's been on a real roll lately. Here's his two latest, and you should check out his past work. I'm not too into the whole social networking thing (blogging, e-mail, & RSS consume enough of my time and attention), so some of his jokes are not ones I get, but I suspect some of you will find many of his comics even funnier than I do. This actually happened to a friend of mine. From this post.If you like these two, and expecially if you're vegetarian/vegan, scroll back up and check out the post from last May; that one still cracks me up. Like some other web comics, the title of the comic is often a second punch line- so do pay attention. The above comic, for example, is called, "If you can't do the time, don't do the meme." Speaking of which, my own "10 Lies About Me" meme (which is much safer than the above, as it does not constitute self-incrimination) has sparked at least two subsequent infections in my friends Mr. Wayne and Viking.

And by the way, I have, so far, never been asked to remove anything from my blog, nor threated with dire consequences if I didn't. But I do think it's polite and wise to point out that if I ever do inadvertently violate copyright provisions, I'm likely to be pretty agreeable about removing the material in question. I also think it's polite and wise to provide sources for all material picked up elsewhere on the web. If I can. Sometimes I forget where I found stuff. So sue me.

Followup: ROFL! Just found this in the comments at the Noise to Signal site.

Say What?

Criggo is a website that specializes in finding print media mess-ups; some appear to be intentional, some accidental, and some from an unfamiliarity with the English Language.
I think someone tried a little too hard to be clear and explicit and clear. Adjust your watches accordingly.
This has got to be satire, right? Right?
I can't actually make out the body text of this, but I don't really know what to think. The Wright brothers must be so disappointed.

Yearbook Memories

Egad! Who's that? Dick Cheney, you say? No way! He's got hair! He's smiling! He looks... human! It must have been that fall into a lava flow.
And this handsome little thug? Doesn't he remind you of the guy who extorted your lunch money throughout most of eighth grade? Yup, well, this one's got a caption.
From Veto Corleone. Another 15 strange and funny, and even some familiar, pictures there.

These Aren't the Pants You're Looking For

And other Star Wars lines with "pants" replacing one word. A total of 278 misquotes (with a few repeats though), enough to keep you busy for part of a slow Sunday afternoon.

#1: I find your lack of pants disturbing.
#9: Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants.
#20: The pants will be down in moments, sir, you can begin your landing.
#53: See through pants, we can.

And on. And on.

A Valentine's Day Parable

Comic from Oregon Live

The scene: a kitchen counter with several bags of groceries. A couple, who we will call Spouse 1 and Spouse 2, are arguing.

S1- So did you do the shopping?

S2- Yup. Got the makings for spaghetti and bread.

S1- Wait a minute! (yanks receipt from a bag and waves it in S1's face) All I see is a bunch of useless spending!

S2- Wha-aat?

S1- Flour!!? I can't eat flour! Yeast? What are you thinking?

S2- But...

S1- TOILET PAPER!!!? What in HELL are you thinking? We can't afford TOILET PAPER! Two dollars? Well, we'll just return that unopened.

S2- But we need toilet paper.

S1- I don't. In tough times, you have to make sacrifices. What else we got in here? Tomato paste... dry pasta... You call this dinner? Look at this incredible waste! Celery! Onions! Peppers! Oh dear lord preserve us. That's the last time you ever do the shopping!

S2- What was I supposed to get?

S1- Booze. Lots and lots of booze.

S2- (rolling eyes) Oh no. Here we go again. OK, look, we've been boozing it up for years. I thought we agreed last fall that we'd give it a rest.

S1- I never agreed to that. Look, it's simple really, and I'm getting tired of having to explain it to you. We get lots of booze. We have a big party and tell all our friends to bring food, and we'll eat like kings.

S2- But we've tried that over and over. Most of our "friends" don't even bring food. They bring hip flasks so they can take our booze home with them.

S1- (shrugs) So we just tell them they have to bring food.

S2- (shaking head) We've tried that too. Everyone's so drunk we don't end up even asking what they brought. And whatever food does show up ends being used in food fights, or puked up all over the floor. And everyone's so wasted that the mess just sits for days.

S1- Ahhh! (looks around) I thought something smelled funny. But we're doing fine, that's just proof that the booze works.

S2- I'm not doing fine! I feel sick, I've got the shakes and a headache...

S1- Booze'll take care of that.

S2- I don't think so...

S1- Tell you what: we should compromise. You can spend 2/3 of the money on... hmph... FLOUR and ...snrt... YEAST, and I'll spend a third of it on booze.

S2- I just don't think...

S1- And that is precisely the problem. Really, if we just spent HALF the money on booze, we wouldn't have to spend money on food at all.

S2- No, no, no, your first idea sounded much better.

S1- Now that's more like it. See the problem is, we've been buying the cheapo booze. We gotta start looking at the better stuff.

S2- ...I think I'm gonna heave...

S1- (squinting at the receipt) You know, I'm not sure we can afford to waste any more money on groceries after all. You know, it's a proven fact that grocery stores never supplied any food to anybody. They're called "grocery" stores for a reason- all they sell is groceries. You can't eat groceries, nope. What a body needs is food. And the only proven way to get food is to buy lots and lots of booze.

S2- ...urp...urp....
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So here's the question... at what point do you file for a divorce? Go into counseling? Get a mental assessment? Maybe a restraining order? One's an addict, the other's an enabler... it ain't gonna happen. Besides, they can't afford any of those expensive options: They need more booze. And of course, the punch line is that this couple has about 300 million family members for whom they're responsible.

Not Just Valentine's Day

Today is also Oregon's 150th birthday! (See here, here and here.) Happy Birthday, Oregon! It's hard to believe I've been in existence almost a third as long as this state, and have lived here for almost a fifth of its statehood. Please forgive if I don't bake a cake. Have a scone.

Valentine's Day Scone

The Strawberry-almond Valentine's day scones are already gone... grab a chocolate-cherry edition quick!