We Must Not Allow a Whoopee Cushion Gap

Don't tell McCain and Jindal, but we're falling behind in the field of Whoopee Cushion Technology. At least the Brits are allies... but for how long? Can we afford a Whoopee Gap?

From the Telegraph. "The funniest whoopee cushion sounds are long and whiny, according to research..."

So my question to Johnny and Bobby is this: "Do you support earmarks for scientific research that is crucial to our national defense?" Remember the Great War; acquisition of key humor technology at just the right time almost certainly tipped the balance in favor of alliance powers. Those who forget the lessons of humor are doomed to repeat the joke.