Sunday Funnies: Honest Dog Tag Edition

Sober in a Nightclub

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Clay Bennett

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"Dark Side of the Loom," from The Daily What

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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Sober in a Nightclub
The Daily What
ChannelAte

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Savage Chickens... this works, but it's not what I would have guessed "FCNN" stood for, had I been asked.
Skull Swap
Bits and Pieces

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epic4chan

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Edd's World
epic4chan

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I Hate My Parents

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Fake Science
Sofa Pizza, posted with the title, "Dammit, Sandra, why would you lie to an expert?"

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epic4chan
Bits and Pieces

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Sofa Pizza
Reuters, via The High Definite:

A Dutch farmer watched in disbelief as a driver under the influence of cocaine drove a slalom course through his corn field, only to be joined by two police vehicles in hot pursuit, adding to the damage.

Police, backed up by a helicopter, eventually managed to corner the 35-year-old driver after he careered into a neighboring orchard and crashed into a ditch.

"Shoot out two tires... then the problem is solved," irate farmer Ad van Schendel told police, according to the Brabants Dagblad newspaper.

Van Schendel said he estimated the damage to his field near the southern town of Dussen last Friday at 7,000-8,000 euros.

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Lawyers, Guns and Money
epic4chan
Bits and Pieces
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Bits and Pieces

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epic4chan
Toles, via Campanastan

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Heh

Earlier this week, I glanced quickly at the forecast, and moved on in exasperation: every day was predicted to top out in the low to mid-fifties, with overcast skies and showers. This has been a cold, wet "spring" to the extent that it feels more like typical winter weather.

So yesterday's weather took me by very pleasant surprise: it was almost completely clear all day, with a few gorgeous, cottony cumulus clouds to highlight the bright blue sky, temperatures forged into the lower 60's, and sunshine... lovely, warm, bright, toasty sunshine!

It was glorious.

Of course it was too good to last, with overcast (though still fairly warm over the weekend) today and rain forecast for tomorrow, then cooler and wet through next week. I'm not complaining; it was nice while it lasted, and I'm sure in a few months I'll be sniveling about the heat.

The Oregonian's weather staff is not one to miss an opportunity for a nice bit of acerbic wit, though, and I for one feel quite appreciative of their efforts.Followup: Check out the chart under the above headline and photo- it shows quite well how dreary it has been for the last month and a half.

Sanctimonious Pricks

That would be who is running our country right now. A group of overwhelmingly white, male, wealthy and religulous bastards have shown their fortitude and conviction of principle by stonewalling any attempt toward a functional Federal budget over the issue of... drumroll, please... Planned Parenthood.

Now I can understand that they don't like abortion. I can understand that, because neither I nor anyone I've ever discussed the issue with "likes" abortion. See, I like puppies. I like kitties. I like ice cream, coffee, pizza and on and on. There are literally uncountable numbers of things I really enjoy as improving my life and my perception of it. Abortion is not one of those things. But sometimes it may be the least painful choice among many, and as a male, I simply do not feel it is my place to make such a choice for someone else by removing that option. I do not feel it is my business at all, beyond advocating for those for whom it may be an option- a painful, sad option, to be sure, but again, perhaps the least painful.

Given that these same sanctimonious pricks also want to remove services for post-fetal human beings, such as WIC (Women, Infants, Children- a food benefits program), and have shown less than interest or concern for access to health care services by ex-utero (even in-utero, for that matter) individuals, their level of concern for the viability of what, let's face it, is tantamount to a nine-month infection by a parasite that plays sheer havoc with a woman's physical and mental health, is puzzling to say the least. But consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds, as they say, which I suppose indicates that modern conservatism is all about fat heads.

But what really got my panties in a knot this afternoon was this, from The Daily What:(according to Wikipedia, Planned Parenthood's annual budget is $1.04 billion, not $11.4 million) And here's an excerpt from the post with the above graphic:

Despite the paltry sum (the US spends nearly twice that much on war every day), and the fact that it is illegal under Title X for any federal money to be used to fund abortions, Republicans insist that no federal funds should be appropriated to organizations that perform abortions.

But, according to Planned Parenthood’s 2009 report (as illustrated above), abortions accounted for 3% of all services performed — far outweighed by vital, lifesaving cancer screenings and STD examinations. Also, as Ezra Klein notes, cutting funding for family planning will ultimately result in additional spending to offset the taxpayer cost of unwanted pregnancies “among people without the means to care for their children.”

So abortions amount to 3 whole frakking percent of Planned Parenthood's exorbitant $1.04 billion dollar budget? Gee, that's $30,000,000! That's about half the cost of the hundred or so cruise missiles fired into Libya during the opening hour of the recent and ongoing festivities there! Now in fairness, I'm sure that GOP cruise missiles rain down puppies, kitties and ice cream, so this might not be an appropriate comparison. And anyway, those are brown people over there, and those don't really count.

As I tweeted a little bit ago, "Well," said Ford, "the Thumb's an electronic sub-etha signaling device..." Get me off this crazy planet.

Today's GOP: Nothing a Vogon Constructor fleet couldn't fix.

Geology for Clowns

(BizarroBlog) I've actually done this activity with kids to illustrate how density differences can cause rock and mineral grains to segregate. It didn't work too well- just separating black sand by panning works much better. Let me 'splain why. First, pyrite fractures conchoidally, and like glass, it's very sharp on broken edges and corners. So after picking numerous bits of mineral grains out of my finger tips following a trial run, I decided to do the actual classroom activity with the whole crystals, which were in the form of pyritohedrons a few millimeters in diameter.

Okay, so pyrite in that form is no big deal to geologists... but to middle-school-aged children, it's an amazing, wonderful material. They had no patience for the panning thing; they just picked the "nuggets" out of the sand. They had a great time, learned quite a bit about pyrite, and went home with (what to them were) some pretty special specimens. But they didn't quite get the point I wanted them to. And that's really the crux of whether a lesson is effective or not. Like I said, my own assessment was that this lesson didn't work too well.

Funny, the paths a comic can lead my mind to wander...

Big Ol' Bronto-foo-foo...

...scourge of the Cretaceous,
running through the therapods...... and bopping them in the face. (From SVPOW, where you can see this and many other pictures of "Sauropods stomping Therapods.")

And down came a biiiiig comet...